THESE PEOPLE SHOULD BE SHOT!
regardless of my decidedly anti-gun stance, i utter this phrase every once in a while when people i read/hear about have done something particularly rotten enough to incense me - while you may not agree with my exact sentiments, you will agree that what these parents did was absolutely vile and despicable - and maybe, after reading the articles below, you'll agree that the people who bullied this vulnerable young girl, deserve everything they are getting...
and, IMO, some laws need changing...
these articles are about cyber-bullying and its tragic effects, specifically in the case of one 13-year old girl by the name of Megan Meier
this was Megan Meier - Megan Meier is dead because the parents of a friend she'd had falling out with decided to take it upon themselves to retaliate - in a highly insidious way - and they aren't even sorry
pic from:
http://jezebel.com/gossip/drew-no-blood/are-the-parents-who-myspace+tormented-megan-meier-into-killing-herself-ready-to-atone-um-323254.php
http://www.latimes.com/news/la-na-suicide22nov22,0,6215422.story?coll=la-tot-topstories
From the Los Angeles Times
In MySpace suicide case, community fights back
Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
November 22, 2007
DARDENNE PRAIRIE, MO. — For nearly a year, the families who live along Waterford Crystal Drive in this bedroom community northwest of St. Louis have kept the secret about the boy Megan Meier met last September on the social networking site MySpace.
He called himself Josh Evans, and he and 13-year-old Megan struck up an online friendship that lasted several weeks. Then the boy abruptly turned on Megan and ended it. That night, Megan, who had previously battled depression, committed suicide.
The secret was revealed six weeks later: Neighbor Lori Drew had pretended to be 16-year-old Josh to gain the trust of Megan, who had been fighting with Drew's daughter, according to sheriff's department records and Megan's parents.
After their daughter's death, Tina and Ron Meier begged their other neighbors to keep the story private. Let the local authorities and the FBI conduct their investigations in privacy, they pleaded.
But after waiting for criminal charges to be filed against Drew, neighbors learned that local and federal prosecutors could not find a statute applicable to the case.
This community's patience has dried up. The furious neighbors -- and in the wake of recent media reports, an outraged public -- are taking matters into their own hands.
In an outburst of virtual vigilantism, readers of blogs such as RottenNeighbor.com and hitsusa.com have posted the Drews' home address, phone numbers, e-mail addresses and photographs.
Dozens of people allegedly have called local businesses that work with the family's advertising booklet firm, and flooded the phone lines this week at the local Burlington Coat Factory, where Curt Drew reportedly works.
"I posted that, where Curt works. I'm not ashamed to admit that," said Trever Buckles, 40, a neighbor whose two teenage boys grew up with Megan. "Why? Because there's never been any sense of remorse or public apology from the Drews, no 'maybe we made a mistake.' "
Local teenagers and residents protest just steps from the Drews' tiny porch. A fake 911 call, claiming a man had been shot inside the Drew home, sent law enforcement officers to surround the one-story, white-sided house. People drive through the neighborhood in the middle of the night, screaming, "Murderer!"
The Drews, who have mounted cameras and recording devices onto the roof of their house to track the movements of their neighbors, declined to comment for this article.
Cyber-bullying has become an increasingly creepy reality, where the anonymity of video games, message boards and other online forums offers an outlet for cruel taunts. But it can be difficult to draw the line between constitutionally protected free speech and conduct that is illegal.
Still, Parry Aftab, an Internet privacy lawyer and executive director of WiredSafety.org, points to one federal statute that may apply in the Meier case: the telecommunications harassment law. Amended in 2005, the law prohibits people from anonymously using the Internet with the intent to annoy, abuse, threaten or harass another person.
Terri Dougherty, a spokeswoman for the U.S. attorney's office in St. Louis, declined to comment on whether prosecutors could apply the federal statute in the Meier case.
The mounting tension and heated emotions have local community leaders worried. The St. Charles County Sheriff's Department, which had rarely visited the suburb, now regularly patrols there. County prosecutors are reexamining the case.
On Wednesday evening, Dardenne Prairie's Board of Aldermen unanimously passed a law that makes cyber-harassment a misdemeanor -- with a maximum penalty of 90 days in jail, $500 fine or both for each violation. It's the most stringent punishment available to the city.
"We're all in shock," said Mayor Pam Fogarty. "If I have anything to say about it, we'll never have our hands tied legally like this again."
Dardenne Prairie is an upper-middle-class enclave of about 7,400 people, about 35 miles northwest of St. Louis. Over the years, the flat expanse of farmland has been taken over by sprawling subdivisions, high-end bistros and strip-mall cafes.
The Meiers moved to the east side of town 13 years ago, where clusters of maple trees and prairie grasses still remain relatively undeveloped. Eager for more space at a budget price, the couple were drawn by numerous families and safe streets with names like Swan Lake Drive and Tri Sports Drive.
"There were kids everywhere, and they've all grown up together," said Tina Meier, 37, who works in real estate. "They ride their bikes together, have barbecues together, go on family vacations together, go to school together."
Megan befriended Lori and Curt Drew's daughter in elementary school, and the two became close, Meier said. When Megan transferred to a different middle school last fall, in an effort to help her deal with depression and get away from some bullies, the girls grew apart, her parents said. The Meiers declined to discuss the details behind the girls' estrangement.
Around the same time, Megan started to use the Internet, under the supervision of her parents. Sitting on the family's brown floral couch with her father, or nestled next to her mother in the family's office in the basement, the eighth-grader browsed through her friends' websites and chatted about school.
When a boy messaged Megan on MySpace and asked to be her friend, she excitedly agreed. The two talked online for about six weeks, her parents said.
On Oct. 16, Josh told Megan he'd heard that she was a terrible friend. The two fought. Tina, who had to leave to take Megan's younger sister, Allison, to a doctor's appointment, ordered Megan to get off the computer.
She didn't. The messages grew nasty, according to an FBI transcript.
The final message isn't included in the transcript: "I remember it said something like, 'The world would be a better-off place without you,' " said Ron Meier, 37, who works as a machinist.
That evening, as her parents were downstairs preparing for dinner, Megan hanged herself in her closet. She died the next day.
In the weeks that followed, the Drews comforted the Meiers. They said nothing to them about the fake MySpace account.
They prayed at the wake and consoled sobbing community members at Megan's funeral. They invited the Meiers to birthday parties and had Allison over to bake holiday cookies. They asked the Meiers to hide Christmas gifts in their garage, away from their own children's prying eyes.
It was last Thanksgiving weekend when the Meiers said they learned the truth from a neighbor who had figured out that Lori Drew had devised the online relationship with Megan. In a fit of rage, they hacked up one of the gifts they were storing -- a Foosball table -- with an ax and sledgehammer. Tina and Ronald dumped the pieces onto the Drews' driveway.
"I heard this god-awful screaming," said neighbor Kristie Kriss, 48. "It was Tina. When I heard what happened, I couldn't believe it."
When the Drews complained to the authorities about the loss of their Foosball table, the story became public. According to a sheriff's department report, Lori Drew said "she wanted to 'just tell them' what she did to contribute to the Meiers' daughter's suicide." Drew told the officer that she, with the help of a temporary employee, "instigated and monitored" a fake profile prior to Megan's suicide, "for the sole purpose of communicating" with the girl.
"Drew stated that she, her daughter and [the employee] all typed, read and monitored the communication between the fake male profile and Megan," the report said.
Drew then told the officer that the account had been accessed by other people, "and Megan found out she had been duped."
The Meiers hired an attorney.
"We told our friends to trust the system, and we would have our justice," said Ron Meier.
The neighborhood may have agreed to stay mum, but they couldn't keep their feelings hidden: Many people here say they shunned the Drews, meeting their gaze with sneers and obscene gestures.
On the anniversary of Megan's death, Ron's relatives lined the street with black-and-white polka-dot balloons and put up signs around the neighborhood that asked for "justice for Megan."
Meanwhile, the Meiers' marriage fell apart. Tina moved out of the house in the spring and now lives with her mother. The couple is getting divorced. Allison, now 11, splits her time between the two.
Ron has remained in the house on Waterford Crystal Drive, and has tried to preserve Megan's room. Her clothes fill the closet. But he's stopped sleeping at the house.
His attorney has suggested that he spend the nights with friends or family, because "if something does happen to the Drews, I'm going to be the No. 1 suspect and I'll need a witness to prove my innocence," Ron said.
"All we feel is frustration, anger," neighbor Kriss said. "For months, we've been asking ourselves, 'What mother in her right mind would do this? And why won't the cops do anything to punish them?'
"We just want them gone."
------------------------------------
an earlier story...words from Megan's parents
http://stcharlesjournal.stltoday.com/news/sj2tn20071110-1111stc_pokin_1.ii1.txt
POKIN AROUND: A real person, a real death
Roy Sykes photos Tina and Ron Meier look up at the mausoleum gravesite of their daughter Megan, who would have been 15 on Nov. 6.
His name was Josh Evans. He was 16 years old. And he was hot.
"Mom! Mom! Mom! Look at him!" Tina Meier recalls her daughter saying.
Josh had contacted Megan Meier through her MySpace page and wanted to be added as a friend.Yes, he's cute, Tina Meier told her daughter. "Do you know who he is?"
"No, but look at him! He's hot! Please, please, can I add him?"
Mom said yes. And for six weeks Megan and Josh - under Tina's watchful eye - became acquainted in the virtual world of MySpace.
Josh said he was born in Florida and recently had moved to O'Fallon. He was homeschooled. He played the guitar and drums.
He was from a broken home: "when i was 7 my dad left me and my mom and my older brother and my newborn brother 3 boys god i know poor mom yeah she had such a hard time when we were younger finding work to pay for us after he loeft."
As for 13-year-old Megan, of Dardenne Prairie, this is how she expressed who she was:
M is for Modern
E is for Enthusiastic
G is for Goofy
A is for Alluring
N is for Neglected.
She loved swimming, boating, fishing, dogs, rap music and boys. But her life had not always been easy, her mother says.
She was heavy and for years had tried to lose weight. She had attention deficit disorder and battled depression. Back in third grade she had talked about suicide, Tina says, and ever since had seen a therapist.
But things were going exceptionally well. She had shed 20 pounds, getting down to 175. She was 5 foot 5½ inches tall.
She had just started eighth grade at a new school, Immaculate Conception, in Dardenne Prairie, where she was on the volleyball team. She had attended Fort Zumwalt public schools before that.
Amid all these positives, Tina says, her daughter decided to end a friendship with a girlfriend who lived down the street from them. The girls had spent much of seventh grade alternating between being friends and, the next day, not being friends, Tina says.
Part of the reason for Megan's rosy outlook was Josh, Tina says. After school, Megan would rush to the computer.
"Megan had a lifelong struggle with weight and self-esteem," Tina says. "And now she finally had a boy who she thought really thought she was pretty."
It did seem odd, Tina says, that Josh never asked for Megan's phone number. And when Megan asked for his, she says, Josh said he didn't have a cell and his mother did not yet have a landline.
And then on Sunday, Oct. 15, 2006, Megan received a puzzling and disturbing message from Josh. Tina recalls that it said: "I don't know if I want to be friends with you anymore because I've heard that you are not very nice to your friends."
Frantic, Megan shot back: "What are you talking about?"
SHADOWY CYBERSPACE
Tina Meier was wary of the cyber-world of MySpace and its 70 million users. People are not always who they say they are.
Tina knew firsthand. Megan and the girl down the block, the former friend, once had created a fake MySpace account, using the photo of a good-looking girl as a way to talk to boys online, Tina says. When Tina found out, she ended Megan's access.
MySpace has rules. A lot of them. There are nine pages of terms and conditions. The long list of prohibited content includes sexual material. And users must be at least 14.
"Are you joking?" Tina asks. "There are fifth-grade girls who have MySpace accounts."
As for sexual content, Tina says, most parents have no clue how much there is. And Megan wasn't 14 when she opened her account. To join, you are asked your age but there is no check. The accounts are free.
As Megan's 14th birthday approached, she pleaded for her mom to give her another chance on MySpace, and Tina relented.
She told Megan she would be all over this account, monitoring it. Megan didn't always make good choices because of her ADD, Tina says. And this time, Megan's page would be set to private and only Mom and Dad would have the password.
'GOD-AWFUL FEELING'
Monday, Oct. 16, 2006, was a rainy, bleak day. At school, Megan had handed out invitations to her upcoming birthday party and when she got home she asked her mother to log on to MySpace to see if Josh had responded.
Why did he suddenly think she was mean? Who had he been talking to?
Tina signed on. But she was in a hurry. She had to take her younger daughter, Allison, to the orthodontist.
Before Tina could get out the door it was clear Megan was upset. Josh still was sending troubling messages. And he apparently had shared some of Megan's messages with others.
Tina recalled telling Megan to sign off.
"I will Mom," Megan said. "Let me finish up."
Tina was pressed for time. She had to go. But once at the orthodontist's office she called Megan: Did you sign off?
"No, Mom. They are all being so mean to me."
"You are not listening to me, Megan! Sign off, now!"
Fifteen minutes later, Megan called her mother. By now Megan was in tears.
"They are posting bulletins about me." A bulletin is like a survey. "Megan Meier is a slut. Megan Meier is fat."
Megan was sobbing hysterically. Tina was furious that she had not signed off.
Once Tina returned home she rushed into the basement where the computer was. Tina was shocked at the vulgar language her daughter was firing back at people.
"I am so aggravated at you for doing this!" she told Megan.
Megan ran from the computer and left, but not without first telling Tina, "You're supposed to be my mom! You're supposed to be on my side!"
On the stairway leading to her second-story bedroom, Megan ran into her father, Ron.
"I grabbed her as she tried to go by," Ron says. "She told me that some kids were saying horrible stuff about her and she didn't understand why. I told her it's OK. I told her that they obviously don't know her. And that it would be fine."
Megan went to her room and Ron went downstairs to the kitchen, where he and Tina talked about what had happened, the MySpace account, and made dinner.
Twenty minutes later, Tina suddenly froze in mid-sentence.
"I had this God-awful feeling and I ran up into her room and she had hung herself in the closet."
Megan Taylor Meier died the next day, three weeks before her 14th birthday.
Later that day, Ron opened his daughter's MySpace account and viewed what he believes to be the final message Megan saw - one the FBI would be unable to retrieve from the hard drive.
It was from Josh and, according to Ron's best recollection, it said, "Everybody in O'Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you. Have a shitty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without you."
BEYOND GRIEF INTO FURY
Tina and Ron saw a grief counselor. Tina went to a couple of Parents After Loss of Suicide meetings, as well.
They tried to message Josh Evans, to let him know the deadly power of mean words. But his MySpace account had been deleted.
The day after Megan's death, they went down the street to comfort the family of the girl who had once been Megan's friend. They let the girl and her family know that although she and Megan had their ups and down, Megan valued her friendship.
They also attended the girl's birthday party, although Ron had to leave when it came time to sing "Happy Birthday." The Meiers went to the father's 50th birthday celebration. In addition, the Meiers stored a foosball table, a Christmas gift, for that family.
Six weeks after Megan died, on a Saturday morning, a neighbor down the street, a different neighbor, one they didn't know well, called and insisted that they meet that morning at a counselor's office in northern O'Fallon.
The woman would not provide details. Ron and Tina went. Their grief counselor was there. As well as a counselor from Fort Zumwalt West Middle School.
The neighbor from down the street, a single mom with a daughter the same age as Megan, informed the Meiers that Josh Evans never existed.
She told the Meiers that Josh Evans was created by adults, a family on their block. These adults, she told the Meiers, were the parents of Megan's former girlfriend, the one with whom she had a falling out. These were the people who'd asked the Meiers to store their foosball table.
The single mother, for this story, requested that her name not be used. She said her daughter, who had carpooled with the family that was involved in creating the phony MySpace account, had the password to the Josh Evans account and had sent one message - the one Megan received (and later retrieved off the hard drive) the night before she took her life.
"She had been encouraged to join in the joke," the single mother said.
The single mother said her daughter feels the guilt of not saying something sooner and for writing that message. Her daughter didn't speak out sooner because she'd known the other family for years and thought that what they were doing must be OK because, after all, they were trusted adults.
On the night the ambulance came for Megan, the single mother said, before it left the Meiers' house her daughter received a call. It was the woman behind the creation of the Josh Evans account. She had called to tell the girl that something had happened to Megan and advised the girl not to mention the MySpace account.
AX AND SLEDGEHAMMER
The Meiers went home and tore into the foosball table.
Tina used an ax and Ron a sledgehammer. They put the pieces in Ron's pickup and dumped them in their neighbor's driveway. Tina spray painted "Merry Christmas" on the box.
According to Tina, Megan had gone on vacations with this family. They knew how she struggled with depression, that she took medication.
"I know that they did not physically come up to our house and tie a belt around her neck," Tina says. "But when adults are involved and continue to screw with a 13-year-old - with or without mental problems - it is absolutely vile.
"She wanted to get Megan to feel like she was liked by a boy and let everyone know this was a false MySpace and have everyone laugh at her.
"I don't feel their intentions were for her to kill herself. But that's how it ended."
'GAINING MEGAN'S CONFIDENCE'
That same day, the family down the street tried to talk to the Meiers. Ron asked friends to convince them to leave before he physically harmed them.
In a letter dated Nov. 30, 2006, the family tells Ron and Tina, "We are sorry for the extreme pain you are going through and can only imagine how difficult it must be. We have every compassion for you and your family."
The Suburban Journals have decided not to name the family out of consideration for their teenage daughter.
The mother declined comment.
"I have been advised not to give out any information and I apologize for that," she says. "I would love to sit here and talk to you about it but I can't."
She was informed that without her direct comment the newspaper would rely heavily on the police report she filed with the St. Charles County Sheriff's Department regarding the destroyed foosball table.
"I will tell you that the police report is totally wrong," the mother said. "We have worked on getting that changed. I would just be very careful about what you write."
Lt. Craig McGuire, spokesman for the sheriff's department, said he is unaware of anyone contacting the department to alter the report.
"We stand behind the report as written," McGuire says. "There was no supplement to it. What is in the report is what we believe she told us."
The police report - without using the mother's name - states:
"(She) stated in the months leading up Meier's daughter's suicide, she instigated and monitored a 'my space' account which was created for the sole purpose of communicating with Meier's daughter.
"(She) said she, with the help of temporary employee named ------ constructed a profile of 'good looking' male on 'my space' in order to 'find out what Megan (Meier's daughter) was saying on-line' about her daughter. (She) explained the communication between the fake male profile and Megan was aimed at gaining Megan's confidence and finding out what Megan felt about her daughter and other people.
"(She) stated she, her daughter and (the temporary employee) all typed, read and monitored the communication between the fake male profile and Megan ..
"According to (her) 'somehow' other 'my space' users were able to access the fake male profile and Megan found out she had been duped. (She) stated she knew 'arguments' had broken out between Megan and others on 'my space.' (She) felt this incident contributed to Megan's suicide, but she did not feel 'as guilty' because at the funeral she found out 'Megan had tried to commit suicide before.'"
Tina says her daughter died thinking Josh was real and that she never before attempted suicide.
"She was the happiest she had ever been in her life," Ron says.
After years of wearing braces, Megan was scheduled to have them removed the day she died. And she was looking forward to her birthday party.
"She and her mom went shopping and bought a new dress," Ron says. "She wanted to make this grand entrance with me carrying her down the stairs. I never got to see her in that dress until the funeral."
NO CRIMINAL CHARGES
It does not appear that there will be criminal charges filed in connection with Megan's death.
"We did not have a charge to fit it," McGuire says. "I don't know that anybody can sit down and say, 'This is why this young girl took her life.'"
The Meiers say the matter also was investigated by the FBI, which analyzed the family computer and conducted interviews. Ron said a stumbling block is that the FBI was unable to retrieve the electronic messages from Megan's final day, including that final message that only Ron saw.
The Meiers do not plan to file a civil lawsuit. Here's what they want: They want the law changed, state or federal, so that what happened to Megan - at the hands of an adult - is a crime.
THE AFTERMATH IS PAIN
The Meiers are divorcing. Ron says Tina was as vigilant as a parent could be in monitoring Megan on MySpace. Yet she blames herself.
"I have this awful, horrible guilt and this I can never change," she said. "Ever."
Ron struggles daily with the loss of a daughter who, no matter how low she felt, tried to make others laugh and feel a little bit better.
He has difficulty maintaining focus and has kept his job as a tool and die maker through the grace and understanding of his employer, he says. His emotions remain jagged, on edge.
Christine Buckles lives in the same Waterford Crossing subdivision. In her view, everyone in the subdivision knows of Megan's death, but few know of the other family's involvement.
Tina says she and Ron have dissuaded angry friends and family members from vandalizing the other home for one, and only one, reason.
"The police will think we did it," Tina says.
Ron faces a misdemeanor charge of property damage. He is accused of driving his truck across the lawn of the family down the street, doing $1,000 in damage, in March. A security camera the neighbors installed on their home allegedly caught him.
It was Tina, a real estate agent, who helped the other family purchase their home on the same block 2½ years ago.
"I just wish they would go away, move," Ron says.
Vicki Dunn, Tina's aunt, last month placed signs in and near the neighborhood on the anniversary of Megan's death.
They read: "Justice for Megan Meier," "Call the St. Charles County Prosecuting Attorney," and "MySpace Impersonator in Your Neighborhood."
On the window outside Megan's room is an ornamental angel that Ron turns on almost every night. Inside are pictures of boys, posters of Usher, Beyonce and on the dresser a tube of instant bronzer.
"She was all about getting a tan," Ron says.
He has placed the doors back on the closet. Megan had them off.
If only she had waited, talked to someone, or just made it to dinner, then through the evening, and then on to the beginning of a new day in what could have been a remarkable life.
If she had, he says, there is no doubt she would have chosen to live. Instead, there is so much pain.
"She never would have wanted to see her parents divorce," Ron says.
Ultimately, it was Megan's choice to do what she did, he says. "But it was like someone handed her a loaded gun."
Comments
The laws need to be changed if there's no charge for this. On the other hand, it seems plausible that the dead girl's parents could easily win a civil suit. If I were them I'd be suing the other parents back into the Pleistocene.
Raw Christianity: I don't think I would judge Megan's parents. How would you cope if your daughter had committed suicide and there appeared to be nothing you could do against the adult who pushed her to it, and then pretended to be your friend after the fact? I think they've shown amazing restraint in not resorting to violence. I think if I were the girl's father, I would probably be willing to do some jailtime. On the other hand, they have other children to think about, so I'm sure that's why they haven't.
The laws have not caught up to the Internet, which makes it a lot like the Wild West, and in the Wild West, oftentimes vigilante justice was the only kind there was. Mrs. Drew should be punished.
We do NOT feel Megan's parents were in any, way, shape or form responsible for what happened. Lori Drew and her family need to take full responsibility. Lori needs prison for 2nd Degree Manslaughter
i absolutely agree with you...
Megan was a girl prone to depression - people who are (and one of my very good friends battles depression - and it is a battle - a daily battle) - must struggle to function on a daily basis, sometimes with things that the rest of us wouldn't normally even give considerations to - as a teenager, Megan was even more susceptible - what happened to her was a crime - no doubt about it - what was done to her was a crime - she is in no way to be to be judged - she was 13! - how is anyone equipped to deal with such a thing at 13? - depressive or not - i would venture a guess that this would be hard to deal with as an adult
as for the parents - they're in shock - they shouldn't be judged - they're also likely livid with anger - i would be as well - i agree with Paxton - i think they've actually shown amazing restraint...
the community - well, i think the Drews are getting exactly what they deserve - what that parent did was absolutely unexcusable - and i think the fact that justice may not be coming from a legal standpoint, would be a driving force in their anger, as well as Megan's parents' anger and frustration
i don't understand your judgements
i didn't think of that...
Most people wouldn't kill themselves over something like this, and that she was so depressed was a tragedy of the most painful type. Of course there aren't any charges, and i stand by what i said about the self-righteous that have taken it upon themselves to revenge themselves on a family truly so small and petty as not to deserve the attention. It seems to be a knee jerk reaction to grab the pitchforks and the torches and join the mob (i guess the modern day equivalent would be to get another law on the books) People like those in this family, the next door neighbors that thought this prank up, usually fuck themselves in the end, and their lives are an empty, hollow blank.
I'm no stoic philosopher, but what they thought meant sense to some degree:
Of course her parents are not at fault for her death, but should they be commended for not resorting to violence against the family next door? They had no more control over their daughter's action than they did over their next door neighbor's behavior. Megan did have control, and because she was not stable, her decision is irrevocable. The family next door did what they did, and now have to live with it whether they are "sorry" or not. My heart breaks for the family of the girl who committed suicide, but another law won't do much of anything except enable government to further intrude in the lives of the populance.
not one of the human race's finest moments